Blogs
A Matter of Choice: Deciding Whether to be Right or be Married
There’s an ancient saying that's profoundly applicable to couples therapy: the laws of nature are like a miller’s wheel—they’ll grind you to powder, unless you learn to be the miller. In our close relationships, the laws of nature that threaten to grind our love into...
Rowing to Nowhere: When is Enough Enough?
Like most therapists, I love it when couples step into new beginnings. Watching a partner move into accountability for the first time, or become vulnerable as never before, or demonstrate empathy where there’d been none—such moments make my day. But what about couples...
Joining Through the Truth
Most of us were trained to believe that we needed to be extremely careful when helping clients face the really difficult truths in their lives—especially their own obnoxious, selfish, or self-defeating actions. Better to err on the side of going slow, creating safety,...
Working with Difficult Men: Where’s the Leverage for Change
“It used to be a man could tell what to do,” says George, who’s in his mid-50s, a Boston expat now living with his wife, Michele, in her home state of Texas. In jeans and a work shirt, he looks the part of an ordinary American Joe. “Go to work,” George ticks off....
Relationality in Times of Crisis
We are under siege. This global crisis is unlike anything any of us have ever encountered before. We are away from our work, afraid for our finances, afraid for our health and for those we love, living in enforced isolation, and enforced closeness with our partners...
Men & Feelings
Your feelings never left you... You left them. Learn how you can help your clients tune into their feelings and how you can help them go even deeper. Let me know what you think. Leave a comment below.
Off to the Races
What do you do when both partners are triggered at the same time? Here's how you can bring couples back into intimacy and relationality. Make sure you check out the Time Out Commandments that I mention in the video! Let me know what you think. Leave a comment below....
Coming Back from Infidelity Part Two: What the Involved Partner Needs to Know
Last time we talked about coming back from infidelity from the point of view of the hurt partner. If you haven't seen part one, you can watch it here. In my latest video, Coming Back from Infidelity Part Two: What the Involved Partner Needs to Know, I discuss: The two...
Coming Back from Infidelity Part One: What the Hurt Partner Needs to Know
In my latest video, Coming Back from Infidelity Part One: What the Hurt Partner Needs to Know, I discuss: The two aspects that define infidelity Infidelity as a trauma How infidelity is like grief How long the healing process typically takes Leave me a comment below...
“The Best Men Can Be”
On January 13th, Gillette released its already famous commercial, “The Best Men Can Be,” which garnered an immediate and emphatic backlash. The commercial juxtaposed men engaging in bullying behaviors with men performing acts of decency. The nerve the ad hit is...
About Terry Real
Terry Real is an internationally recognized Family Therapist, Speaker and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology. A family therapist and teacher . . . more
