Category: Uncategorized

The Myth of the Individual

An extract from Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terry Real For centuries, Western culture has been dominated by the idea of the individual. And what could make more sense? I exist. I, Terry, this individual person hunched over my laptop, am distinct from others. I am an […]

Coming Back From Infidelity: How To Heal After An Affair

Coming back from an affair can be one of the toughest challenges for a couple. The first video speaks to the partner who has been hurt, the video covers: The second video speaks to the involved partner (the one who had the affair), the video covers:

[Video] How To Get More Of What You Want From Your Relationship

People have long-term relationships for most of their lives and never get exactly what they want. We say that we’re accepting, but really we’re settling. Over time, resentment builds, passion dies, and we become distant compromised partners to each other. Why? Because we stop trying and because no one ever taught us HOW to work […]

Black Therapists Rock and RLT: A Partnership for Diversity in Couples Therapy

We’re thrilled to announce a new partnership with Black Therapists Rock (BTR). Terry Real, The Relational Life Institute, and The Relational Life Foundation are committed to increasing diversity within Relational Life Therapy and opening the doors for more therapists from marginalized communities to train with us. This partnership is an exciting and important step for […]

[Video] Patriarchy Now: Watch the webinar replay

Thank you to everyone who has stepped forward to engage in this dynamic topic with me through your emails, questions, and listening in for the live call. We had an excellent discussion today, and I’d like to share the recording for those who were not able to make it.

The Best Men Can Be: Reflecting on the Infamous Gillette Ad

On January 13th 2019, Gillette released its already famous commercial, “The Best Men Can Be,” which garnered an immediate and emphatic backlash. The commercial juxtaposed men engaging in bullying behaviors with men performing acts of decency. The nerve the ad hit is prominently on display, if you go to Twitter #BoycottGillette. Here’s a typical example: […]

Learning to Live a Non-Violent Life

I have a saying. In adulthood, we tend to hold ourselves the way we were held. We internalize what came at us and now we throw it at ourselves. If you were indulged, you’ll make excuses; if you were treated harshly, you’ll be unkind to yourself. Sometimes, what’s key is not so much a replay […]

When to End a Relationship

Like most therapists, I love it when couples step into new beginnings. Watching a partner move into accountability for the first time, become vulnerable as never before, or demonstrate empathy where there’d been none—such moments make my day. But what about couples who’ve run out of new beginnings? If beginnings bring me delight, do endings […]

The Relational Life Institute Presents

The 3 Phases of RLT

Homestudy Course Continuing Ed Details

Facilitated by Terry Real, LICSW

This Home study course is approved for continuing education hours as described below.

NBCC (National Board of Certified Counsellors)

3 CE hours for Beginner Mental Health Professionals

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Target Audience

Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors

Course Content Level

The course content is appropriate for Intermediate level clinicians.

Course Description

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a transformative approach to couples work created by Terry Real that produces deep, profound, and lasting change in both individual partners and their relationships. Unlike traditional therapy models that separate character work from couples therapy, RLT integrates psychodynamic principles, family systems theory, feminism, trauma work, and addiction recovery into a cohesive framework designed to help people live authentically connected lives. This course introduces therapists to RLT’s distinctive methodology, which challenges conventional therapeutic practices by confronting difficult behaviors from the very first session, addressing both shame and grandiosity, taking sides when appropriate, and using judicious self-disclosure to model relationality.

Participants will learn how RLT differs from other modalities by doing deep character transformation and trauma work within the couples session itself, using the relationship as a crucible for accelerated healing.

This 3-hour foundational training covers the three core phases of RLT treatment: waking up the client through “joining through the truth,” conducting trauma work to understand and heal the adaptive child, and building relational skills that move clients beyond patriarchal patterns toward genuine intimacy. Participants will explore the tri-part model of the psyche—the wise adult, adaptive child, and wounded child—and learn to identify the recursive feedback loops (“the more the more”) that keep couples stuck. The course addresses how to work with both one-up (grandiose) and one-down (shame-based) positions, understanding that true love requires neither superiority nor inferiority but relational democracy. Through lecture, demonstration videos, and case examples, therapists will gain practical tools for helping clients shift from knee-jerk reactivity to relational mindfulness, transforming their capacity for authentic connection with themselves and others.

Learning Objectives

At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

1.

Identify the three phases of Relational Life Therapy (Waking Up the Client, Trauma Work, and Skill Building) and their sequential role in the therapeutic process.

2.

Differentiate between the three parts of the psyche in RLT (Wise Adult, Wounded Child, and Adaptive Child) and their functions in client behavior.

3.

Describe the technique of “Joining Through the Truth” and how it builds therapeutic alliance while confronting difficult behaviors.

4.

Distinguish between modeling and reacting as the two ways the Adaptive Child is formed in response to childhood experiences.

5.

Explain the therapeutic benefits of conducting trauma work with the partner present in the room rather than in individual therapy.

6.

Assess the three preconditions (untreated psychiatric disorders, active addictions, and acting out behaviors) that must be addressed before proceeding with couples therapy.

7.

Contrast individual empowerment versus relational empowerment when teaching clients to stand up for themselves within relationships.

8.

Apply the biosphere metaphor to help couples understand their interdependence and move from a control-based model to ecological wisdom.

Throughout the course, you’ll gain deeper competency in and be able to:

  • Illustrate that true intimacy can only be achieved through guiding clients out of individual empowerment and into relational empowerment.
  • Discuss how RLT practitioners will confront and teach their clients how to live relationally.
  • Hypothesize how RLT practitioners identify the right points to move clients through each of the 3 phases of treatment.

How to Register:

The Couple Therapists Workshop – Terry Real Homepage 

Continuing Ed Credits Available:

3 NBCC credit hours

CE Certificate Requirements:

It is the participant’s responsibility to check if their Board, state, organization is approved for these Continuing Ed credit hours. There is no partial credit. No refunds will be given on CE purchases for failure to check state approval.

Cost:

This course is $47.00

Commercial Support Disclaimer:

There is no conflict of interest for this program.

Cancellation Policy:

You may request a refund up to 2 days after purchase. Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

Accommodations:

Accommodations If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.  Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.” approval.

Please Note: Licensing Boards change regulations often and while we attempt to stay abreast of their most recent changes, if you have questions or concerns about this course meeting your specific board’s approval, we recommend you contact your board directly to obtain a ruling.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 

617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com; www.relationallife.com 

CE REQUIREMENTS:

The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:

The RLT Level 1 Training Course

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. 

FORMAT: Five LIVE Online Sessions on Zoom, facilitated by Kate Harris, Phd; plus teaching by Terry Real, LICSW; Cathy Hill, PhD; and Anna Sterk, LMFT

Continuing Ed credits offered:  10 credit hours for 5 Classes

At the completion of this course, all participants will be invited by email to purchase the 10 CE credits for a $40 fee. To receive a certificate, you must attend the full course. There is no partial credit, attendance will be taken.

Content:

Over five live classes you’ll be introduced to the powerful principals behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT Level 1 is designed to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model. 

Discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and swift results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described. Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness, Joining Through the Truth, and psychological patriarchy.

RLT Level 1 is the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings.

Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

  1. Compare the RLT phases and how RLT differs from traditional therapy
  2. Describe the role and approach of the therapists in RLT
  3. List the seven lenses
  4. Explain the role of data gathering

  

Throughout the course, you’ll learn: 

    • True intimacy can only happen when partners are “same as”—neither one-up nor one-down
    • That RLT Therapists and Coaches will confront and teach their clients how to actually live relationally
    • How to use the RLT Lenses in Intervention & Finding Leverage
    • How RLT Therapists and Coaches use judicious self-disclosure, sharing stories of they use these same skills in their own relationships.

Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Chemical Dependency Counselors 

Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.

Cost: $497 in full; or 3 payments of $179 each

Course Dates & Hours: 

January 14, 21, 28; February 17, 11, 2025

Hours: 12pm to 2pm Eastern Time each class

Cancelation Policy: You may request a refund up to 2 days after the first live session.

Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us.

Registering for the course on the RLI website for is required to receive a Continuing Ed Certificate.

FAQ’s

How do I receive the Zoom link?

The Zoom link is emailed to you from ZOOM when you register for the course. If you do not receive the link, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Should the name you register with match your Zoom name?

Yes, your first and last both names must be entered on your registration and then displayed on the screen during all classes. Please do not use nicknames, or employee ID numbers or log into Zoom using a co-worker or family member’s Zoom Account as this will post you as ABSENT.

When will I get my certificate?

Certificates will be available within ten business days of the event. Certificates will be emailed to the email address you used to register for the course.

Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.

He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”

Kate Harris, PhD: Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Kate is a Clinical Psychologit and a certified Martha Bec, North Star Coach. In 2015, Kate watched Terry Real work live with 5 couples and was instantly committed to becoming an RLT therapist. Kate believes that RLT honors “the worth and dignity of all people” and it aligns clearly with her own personal values. After attending a Relationship Bootcamp workshop, she and her husband learned first hand the tools Terry reaches and they continue to use them today to deepen their 32 year relationship. Kate became RLT Certified in 2018 and is a valued teacher.

Anna Sterk, LMFT

Anna began training in RLT with Terry Real in 2012 and has been providing therapy, Essential Skills Bootcamps, consultation and supervision through the RLT model for years; Anna was thrilled to have the opportunity to teach and train practitioners as faculty with the Relational Life Institute (RLI) beginning in 2022.  Anna’s style as a therapist, teacher, and supervisor is to balance compassion and collaboration with direct feedback. Anna’s roots are in systems theory and cultural studies, which was a natural fit for the RLT model, and supports her goal of teaching the skills to navigate long term relationships and support relational living for both clients and students alike. As RLI Faculty, Anna teaches the Practicum courses and Small Group Mentoring for RLT certification students, along with special topic courses.

Cathy Hill, Ph.D., R. Psych:

Cathy Hill began training in RLT in 2010 after attending her first Relationship Bootcamp and from that experience was determined that Terry needed to teach others to do RLT. Cathy persisted in this idea and Terry ended up having Cathy set up adanced training for his senior therapists which was very well received. Soon after she was named Director of Training for RLI. Cathy is trained in the ‘scientist-practitioner’ model, and is devoted to getting RLT ‘evidence-based’ which requires excellent in training in order to translate into excellence in practice.

CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.

Grievance Procedure:

If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written

complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a

detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the

accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to

discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the

accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for

the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the

grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the

appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all

grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files. A copy of this Grievance

Procedure is available upon request.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com