Blogs
How to Bring a Reluctant Man Back for a Second Session
In RLT, we have seven diagnostic lenses for looking at a really precise description of what is going on and what you're going to feed back to the couple. One of the seven lenses, which in some ways is the skeleton of the whole therapy, is stance, stance, and dance. In...
Why a Class on How to Engage Men?
Let's talk about how to engage men. I'll be referring to some of my notes because this is a little technical. First of all, why am I even giving a class on how to engage men? How many of you have ever entered a lecture entitled how to engage women? Why is engaging...
Terry Real in Conversation with Thomas Hubl

Narcissism and Grandiosity
Listen to the podcast on LOVELINK Terry Real: Imagine if you woke up and one day your hand just had a life of its own. You're on the subway and your hands starts groping other people. You'd be really, really enraged at your hand because it's just not obeying...
Patriarchy Now Webinar Replay
Thank you to everyone who has stepped forward to engage in this dynamic topic with me through your emails, questions, and listening in for the live call. We had an excellent discussion today, and I’d like to share the recording for those who were not able to make it....

What’s the “Love/Lust Split” We See So Often?
How can we therapists help heal what Esther Perel calls the “Love/Lust split” we see so often? As therapists, we’ve seen over and over that while couples, as I say, tend to do in the bedroom what they do in every other room, sex cannot be faked. All too often, fears,...

Seven Tips to Great Sex
written by Dr. Dan Pollets (originally published in August 2008) Great Sex In a Nutshell…. Great sex starts with the awareness of sensation and allowing oneself to sink into the “mindful experience of physical and emotional intimacy.” It is about being present in and...

Learning to Live a Non-Violent Life
Full Respect Living Part One: Healthy Self-Esteem Let’s talk about the relationship between you and you. I have a saying. In adulthood, we tend to hold ourselves the way we were held. We internalize what came at us and now we throw it at ourselves. If you were...

How to Work With ‘Carried Feelings’
In this blog, I share with you different ways to work with Carried Feelings. Sometimes as therapists, working with past trauma and shame can be a heavy, but lifting process. In working with carried feelings, you can have the person literally in their minds’ eye, scoop...

Psychodrama: Doubling Technique
Psychodrama & Doubling – a technique which is particularly helpful in trauma work and one I use often with couples where I speak for the inner voice of what’s being said, and they get to correct it. When you double for somebody while in a session, you have to...