Interview with Carol Gilligan: The Origins of Relational Life Therapy
Watch this interview with my dear friend and colleague Carol Gilligan to learn more about the origins of Relational Life Therapy and the history of couples therapy at large.
The Best Men Can Be: Reflecting on the Infamous Gillette Ad
On January 13th 2019, Gillette released its already famous commercial, âThe Best Men Can Be,â which garnered an immediate and emphatic backlash. The commercial juxtaposed men engaging in bullying behaviors with men performing acts of decency. The nerve the ad hit is prominently on display, if you go to Twitter #BoycottGillette. Hereâs a typical example: […]
Learning to Live a Non-Violent Life
I have a saying. In adulthood, we tend to hold ourselves the way we were held. We internalize what came at us and now we throw it at ourselves. If you were indulged, youâll make excuses; if you were treated harshly, youâll be unkind to yourself. Sometimes, whatâs key is not so much a replay […]
When to End a Relationship
Like most therapists, I love it when couples step into new beginnings. Watching a partner move into accountability for the first time, become vulnerable as never before, or demonstrate empathy where thereâd been noneâsuch moments make my day. But what about couples whoâve run out of new beginnings? If beginnings bring me delight, do endings […]
Working with Difficult Men: Whereâs the Leverage for Change?
âIt used to be a man could tell what to do,â says George, whoâs in his mid-50s, a Boston expat now living with his wife, Michele, in her home state of Texas. In jeans and a work shirt, he looks the part of an ordinary American Joe. âGo to work,â George ticks off. âHold a […]
10 Commandments of Time Outs in a Relationship
The best defense against verbal abuse is a formal time-out. When either partner calls a time-out â by saying the words, âtime-out,â by using the âTâ hand signal, or by using any agreed-upon sign â the interaction comes to an immediate stop. The spoken or gestured signal is understood by both partners to be an […]
How to Work With âCarried Feelingsâ
In this blog, I share with you different ways to work with Carried Feelings. Sometimes as therapists, working with past trauma and shame can be a heavy, but lifting process. Pull the Shame Up In working with carried feelings, you can have the person literally in their mindâs eye, scoop up the shame out of […]
