Menu
Perhaps you’ve completely stopped trying, because no matter how you said it, or how many times, your partner didn’t seem to hear you. So now it feels safer to settle for something rather than risk losing everything.
Maybe you worry you’ll seem “too much” or “too needy”… and your partner will see you as “difficult.”
Or maybe you do speak up, but it comes out as demands like “you never…” or “I need you to…” and before you know it, you’re repeating the same old argument, yet again.
And rather than working together as a team, you try to “win” your case… only to be met with defensiveness, anger, or total shutdown.
If you struggle to communicate your desires – or it just doesn’t land well when you do – this on-demand course from leading therapist Terry Real will equip you with the skills to finally get what you want from your relationships.
Introducing…
We’ve never wanted more from our relationships. We no longer want just companionship and stability… we want relationships that are alive, passionate, intimate, and deeply fulfilling.
Yet most of us were never taught the skills to realize it.
We were never taught how to speak up in a way that invites generosity, not conflict. Or how to handle disappointment without turning it into distance or control.
Maybe you let things slide to “keep the peace,” or maybe you resort to criticizing and demanding.
Either way, resentment builds over months, years, decades, until finally we snap.
And then? We swing from over-accommodating people-pleasing to under-accommodating self-righteousness…
While it might feel good in the moment to stand up and say “screw you!”, it’s not good for your relationship.
Thankfully, there is a better way.
You can speak up for what you want while also honoring your partner – building closeness, not distance. This is what Terry Real calls relational empowerment: “We’re a team. This is what I would like. What can I give you to help you come through for me?”
Who do you know that speaks like this? Probably no-one!
In this course, you’ll join Terry Real for 6 on-demand modules to learn the essential relational skills to transform how you show up in your relationship – and help you build more fulfilling connections.
Get started now and take the first step toward building a more connected partnership for both of you.
As soon as you sign up, you’ll get instant access to 6 online modules with Terry Real, allowing you to work through the classes at your own pace.
Each module combines lecture and Q&A, where Terry will introduce you to essential relationship skills and guide you in gaining deeper insights into your triggers and repeating patterns. You’ll equip yourself with the self-awareness and skills you need to transform how you show up in your relationships and finally start getting more joy and fulfillment from them.
Our recorded Q&As also give you the opportunity to learn from the honest challenges of other couples and individuals, and gain advice you can apply to your own relational transformation.
— Daniella S.
RLT is known for producing deep, permanent change quickly.
It transforms not just the relationship but the character of each partner.
As you observe Terry, you will learn how RLT works in three phases:
In this opening module, you’ll be introduced to the Relationship Grid – a powerful tool for identifying how your self-esteem and boundaries shape the way you relate.
In Part 1: Understanding Your Repeating Patterns, you’ll use the grid to uncover how you and your partner show up when things get tough – the predictable moves that keep you stuck in the same fight.
In Part 2: Breaking the Cycle, you’ll move from awareness to change. You’ll learn how to use the grid as a roadmap for growth, through relational mindfulness and practical tools to interrupt old patterns and shift into the center of health.
In this module, you’ll go on a deep exploration of how our approach and understanding of relationships in Western culture hinders our ability to form meaningful connections and true intimacy. Most importantly, you’ll learn an entirely new way of being in a relationship.
You’ll learn how to let go of the desire to control, what an equal partnership really looks like, and how to think like a team and work with your partner to get more of what you want.
We’ll explore what it means to speak up effectively. You’ll discover where we tend to go wrong when speaking up, either overaccommodating and self-sacrificing or underaccommodating and demanding. Then, Terry will teach you a new way: how to speak up with love.
You’ll explore the core relational skill Loving Power, and how to put it into practice right away to start standing up for what you want in a way that empowers you and your partner.
You may be more effective in getting more of what you want when things are calm between you and your partner – but what happens when the wheels come off? That’s what we’ll explore in this class.
Learning how to “repair” – or “make up” – is a key aspect of relationships many of us lack. You’ll learn robust relational skills to use when you’re angry, upset, or hurt:
As much as you’ll learn to speak up with love in this course, a critical part of the work of relationships is also knowing how to respond when your partner is upset or asks for something from you.
Listening is the second step of repair. You’ll learn how to listen with an open heart and allow space for your partner’s perspective, without jumping into defence. You’ll explore how to “reflect back” so your partner feels heard and how to respond to their requests.
Once your partner starts giving you more of what you asked for, the question is: can you receive it? It’s not always easy. This class is dedicated to the skills you need to:
— Tod, Boston, MA
Getting What You Want From Your Relationship is for anyone looking to find better ways to relate in their intimate relationships…
This course will teach you the essential relational skills to speak up with love, listen without defensiveness, and work like a team to build more fulfilling relationships.
— Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop
Choose the payment option that best suits you.
Choose the payment option that best suits you.
2 x monthly payments
This is a self-paced program. You’ll get immediate access as soon as you sign up, and you can watch the modules on your own schedule, whenever it works best for you.
All course materials will be stored in your personal learning platform. If you’ve taken one of our courses previously, your login will be the same. If you’re new to Terry’s programs, we’ll send login details via email as soon as you join.
Forever! You’ll have lifetime access to the class recordings inside the private learning platform, to watch back as many times as you like.
While mental health professionals are always welcome to join our courses, this is designed for the general public and therefore there are no CE credits available.
Yes – the insights and relational skills you will learn in this course will help you understand your dynamics in past relationships and build healthier connections in the future. These skills also support you in speaking up with love in every aspect of your life, whether it be with family, friends, neighbours, or coworkers.
Yes – while your partner’s choice to change their behavior is theirs alone, the skills you will learn in this course will allow you to speak up with love, make requests, and address conflict in a more relational and effective way. By showing up differently yourself – in a way that encourages openness and generosity – you can invite a different response from your partner, too.
We’re confident you’ll love this course, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 14 days of purchase and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
In special cases, we can offer discounted rates. Please email us at support@terryreal.com with details of your circumstances and we will do our best to support you.
Please reach out to our support team at support@terryreal.com.
Homestudy Course Continuing Ed Details
This Home study course is approved for continuing education hours as described below.
NBCC (National Board of Certified Counsellors)
3 CE hours for Beginner Mental Health Professionals
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
The course content is appropriate for Intermediate level clinicians.
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a transformative approach to couples work created by Terry Real that produces deep, profound, and lasting change in both individual partners and their relationships. Unlike traditional therapy models that separate character work from couples therapy, RLT integrates psychodynamic principles, family systems theory, feminism, trauma work, and addiction recovery into a cohesive framework designed to help people live authentically connected lives. This course introduces therapists to RLT’s distinctive methodology, which challenges conventional therapeutic practices by confronting difficult behaviors from the very first session, addressing both shame and grandiosity, taking sides when appropriate, and using judicious self-disclosure to model relationality.
Participants will learn how RLT differs from other modalities by doing deep character transformation and trauma work within the couples session itself, using the relationship as a crucible for accelerated healing.
This 3-hour foundational training covers the three core phases of RLT treatment: waking up the client through “joining through the truth,” conducting trauma work to understand and heal the adaptive child, and building relational skills that move clients beyond patriarchal patterns toward genuine intimacy. Participants will explore the tri-part model of the psyche—the wise adult, adaptive child, and wounded child—and learn to identify the recursive feedback loops (“the more the more”) that keep couples stuck. The course addresses how to work with both one-up (grandiose) and one-down (shame-based) positions, understanding that true love requires neither superiority nor inferiority but relational democracy. Through lecture, demonstration videos, and case examples, therapists will gain practical tools for helping clients shift from knee-jerk reactivity to relational mindfulness, transforming their capacity for authentic connection with themselves and others.
Identify the three phases of Relational Life Therapy (Waking Up the Client, Trauma Work, and Skill Building) and their sequential role in the therapeutic process.
Differentiate between the three parts of the psyche in RLT (Wise Adult, Wounded Child, and Adaptive Child) and their functions in client behavior.
Describe the technique of “Joining Through the Truth” and how it builds therapeutic alliance while confronting difficult behaviors.
Distinguish between modeling and reacting as the two ways the Adaptive Child is formed in response to childhood experiences.
Explain the therapeutic benefits of conducting trauma work with the partner present in the room rather than in individual therapy.
Assess the three preconditions (untreated psychiatric disorders, active addictions, and acting out behaviors) that must be addressed before proceeding with couples therapy.
Contrast individual empowerment versus relational empowerment when teaching clients to stand up for themselves within relationships.
Apply the biosphere metaphor to help couples understand their interdependence and move from a control-based model to ecological wisdom.
3 NBCC credit hours
This course is $47.00
There is no conflict of interest for this program.
You may request a refund up to 2 days after purchase.
Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.
Accommodations
If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com
Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians. Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.” approval.
Please Note: Licensing Boards change regulations often and while we attempt to stay abreast of their most recent changes, if you have questions or concerns about this course meeting your specific board’s approval, we recommend you contact your board directly to obtain a ruling.
Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459;
617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com; www.relationallife.com
The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:
The RLT Level 1 Training Course
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
FORMAT: Five LIVE Online Sessions on Zoom, facilitated by Kate Harris, Phd; plus teaching by Terry Real, LICSW; Cathy Hill, PhD; and Anna Sterk, LMFT
Continuing Ed credits offered: 10 credit hours for 5 Classes
At the completion of this course, all participants will be invited by email to purchase the 10 CE credits for a $40 fee. To receive a certificate, you must attend the full course. There is no partial credit, attendance will be taken.
Content:
Over five live classes you’ll be introduced to the powerful principals behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT Level 1 is designed to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model.
Discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and swift results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described. Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness, Joining Through the Truth, and psychological patriarchy.
RLT Level 1 is the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings.
Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:
Throughout the course, you’ll learn:
Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Chemical Dependency Counselors
Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.
Cost: $497 in full; or 3 payments of $179 each
Course Dates & Hours:
January 14, 21, 28; February 17, 11, 2025
Hours: 12pm to 2pm Eastern Time each class
Cancelation Policy: You may request a refund up to 2 days after the first live session.
Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.
If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us.
Registering for the course on the RLI website for is required to receive a Continuing Ed Certificate.
FAQ’s
How do I receive the Zoom link?
The Zoom link is emailed to you from ZOOM when you register for the course. If you do not receive the link, please contact us at support@terryreal.com
Should the name you register with match your Zoom name?
Yes, your first and last both names must be entered on your registration and then displayed on the screen during all classes. Please do not use nicknames, or employee ID numbers or log into Zoom using a co-worker or family member’s Zoom Account as this will post you as ABSENT.
When will I get my certificate?
Certificates will be available within ten business days of the event. Certificates will be emailed to the email address you used to register for the course.
Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com
Instructor’s Bios:
Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.
He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians. Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”
Kate Harris, PhD: Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Kate is a Clinical Psychologit and a certified Martha Bec, North Star Coach. In 2015, Kate watched Terry Real work live with 5 couples and was instantly committed to becoming an RLT therapist. Kate believes that RLT honors “the worth and dignity of all people” and it aligns clearly with her own personal values. After attending a Relationship Bootcamp workshop, she and her husband learned first hand the tools Terry reaches and they continue to use them today to deepen their 32 year relationship. Kate became RLT Certified in 2018 and is a valued teacher.
Anna Sterk, LMFT
Anna began training in RLT with Terry Real in 2012 and has been providing therapy, Essential Skills Bootcamps, consultation and supervision through the RLT model for years; Anna was thrilled to have the opportunity to teach and train practitioners as faculty with the Relational Life Institute (RLI) beginning in 2022. Anna’s style as a therapist, teacher, and supervisor is to balance compassion and collaboration with direct feedback. Anna’s roots are in systems theory and cultural studies, which was a natural fit for the RLT model, and supports her goal of teaching the skills to navigate long term relationships and support relational living for both clients and students alike. As RLI Faculty, Anna teaches the Practicum courses and Small Group Mentoring for RLT certification students, along with special topic courses.
Cathy Hill, Ph.D., R. Psych:
Cathy Hill began training in RLT in 2010 after attending her first Relationship Bootcamp and from that experience was determined that Terry needed to teach others to do RLT. Cathy persisted in this idea and Terry ended up having Cathy set up adanced training for his senior therapists which was very well received. Soon after she was named Director of Training for RLI. Cathy is trained in the ‘scientist-practitioner’ model, and is devoted to getting RLT ‘evidence-based’ which requires excellent in training in order to translate into excellence in practice.
CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.
Grievance Procedure:
If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written
complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a
detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the
accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to
discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the
accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for
the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the
grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the
appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all
grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files. A copy of this Grievance
Procedure is available upon request.
Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com
