What Do You Do When You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Wanted Your Partner?

Join the live 3-hour workshop to discover why a good relationship doesn’t automatically make for good sex, what’s really going on, and how you can begin to rebuild your sexual connection.

🗓 LIVE Wednesday, September 9, 2026 | 12–3 PM ET

100% Money-Back Guarantee

A workshop rooted in Relational Life Therapy® (RLT) – the powerful approach to couples therapy created by Terry Real that has helped couples find their way back to each other for more than 40 years.

Anna Sterk was trained directly by Terry himself – and a member of the RLT faculty, training other therapists and coaches in this work. 

Is It Them? Is It You?

The One Thing You Know for Sure Is You’re Not Talking About It

You love them. That part has never been in question. What you can’t work out – what you’ve been desperately trying to figure out for longer than you’d like to admit – is where the passion and spark went.

Perhaps they never initiate anymore – and when you initiate, you’re left feeling like they see the whole thing as a chore. So you’re left wondering: Are they even attracted to me now? Is there someone else?

Or maybe you’re the one who flinches when a kiss lingers a little longer. It’s you lying awake torturing yourself: What if I’m broken? What if something in me just switched off?

If any of this resonates, you’re not alone.

Millions of couples are caught in this same stalemate… all wondering what the answer is, and knowing one thing for certain: none of us are talking about it. 

Which is why we’re opening the conversation in this live workshop with Anna Sterk, LMFT.  In this 3-hour exploration, you’ll get to the heart of what’s going on between you – and the steps you can make to strengthen your sexual connection.

How Can Two People Who Are So Good Together Struggle to Connect in the Bedroom?

As long as you stay locked in the “whose fault is it?” loop, you’ll never get to the root of the issue.

This is what so many of us get wrong. The date nights, the supplements, the spice-it-up tips and tricks we try – these are surface-level “fixes” that don’t work on the deeper cause. This workshop gets to the heart of it.

Because when sex begins to disappear from a loving relationship, the cause is often not hormones, a missing libido, or attraction that’s faded. Nothing is necessarily wrong with either of you at all.

The cause is a pattern. You each walked into this relationship carrying a story about sex – what it should look like, how often, who’s supposed to want it more, what it means if sexual intimacy fades away – learned long before you ever met.

When you uncover what those stories are, and how they interact with each other, you finally have something you can work on.

And that work can start on September 9.

The Way Back to Fulfilling Sexual Connection Begins With 3 Steps

step 1

See the Pattern

You’ll learn the cycle you’re caught in – one reaching, one pulling back – and the old stories you’re carrying that lie behind it. Once you know what’s going on, you know the moves to invite change.

step 2

Reconnect to Desire

Desire isn’t a switch that suddenly flicks on and off – it’s more like a muscle that fades when it goes unused, and it can be rebuilt. You’ll start that work on your own, nothing needed from your partner.

step 3

Start the Conversation

You’ll turn years of silence into one small, real request – and learn how to invite your partner along with you, so you can finally talk about the topic without it ending in arguments or shut downs.

What You’ll Learn

The two roles couples fall into when sex fades

Which one you’re playing, which one your partner is, and the underlying fear driving each – so you can stop taking the pattern personally.

Why every “no” cuts so deep

What a no in the bedroom is actually saying, and what it isn’t – without either of you having to be wrong.

Where your story about sex was written

The beliefs you absorbed long before this relationship about what sex should be and who should want it – and whose rules you’ve been following in bed.

How to want again

Why desire is something you can rebuild rather than a spark you wait for – starting with a private exercise you can do without telling anyone.

How to bring it up without it becoming a fight

The gentle way to open the most avoided conversation in your relationship right now – even if every past attempt went badly.

Here's Everything You Get When You Join

The LIVE 3-hour workshop with Anna Sterk

Wednesday, September 9, 12–3 PM ET.

Live Q&A

ask Anna for advice about your situation in a supportive group of people who get it.

Lifetime access to the recording

watch whenever you’re ready – or share it with your partner when the moment is right.

The Pleasure Journal exercise

guidance on how to keep a private journal to help you rebuild your own desire, at your own pace.

A guide of helpful resources

where to go next, whatever you discover.

100% money-back guarantee

48 hours after the live workshop, no questions asked.

All of it for just $47.

This Workshop Is for You If…

This training is for you if you’re a therapist or coach who: 

It’s been months – or years – and you’ve lost track of whether you stopped counting or stopped noticing.

You’re the one who still initiates – and every no feels like a deeper rejection.

You’re the one who pulls away – and you’ve privately concluded that you’re the problem.

You’d be attending alone – your partner isn’t in this with you yet – and may not even know you’re looking.

You still love each other – but worry the spark may have permanently dimmed.

You’re a therapist or coach – who wants to see how Relational Life Therapy works with sexual disconnection.

Whether you’re married or partnered, together three years or thirty, attending as a couple or entirely on your own, this workshop will help you take the first steps towards building the fulfilling sexual connection you deserve.

Try The Class 1 Risk-Free

You’re Protected by a 100% Money-Back Guarantee

If the workshop isn’t what you hoped, just email us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the live session. The deadline for refund requests is 3pm ET on Friday, September 11, 2026. 

“Our sex life brings to the fore the most vulnerable parts of us coupled with the least skill to navigate them. 

Anna Sterk is the person I trust to help guide you along that path.” 

— Terry Real 

Anna Sterk, LMFT, RLT Faculty

A certified RLT therapist since 2017, Anna Sterk (she/her), is a senior member of the Relational Life Institute Faculty. Her clinical career has been focused on systems and relationships from the beginning. She has worked in community mental health, eating disorder treatment, and private practice.

As she worked with couples and sexuality, Anna found that the way sex was discussed in trainings – and Western culture at large – didn’t match what she was seeing in her office. She drew on her history of training in feminist and cultural studies, integrated with her training as a systemic therapist, to find a way of working with couples – and sex and sexuality specifically – that really took root when she began studying with Terry Real in 2012. 

She found that RLT provided the framework, techniques, and skills that made the abstract ideas make sense and created the path that Anna’s life and work have taken since that first training. Anna is now at the forefront of shaping how RLT tools and principles can translate to sex therapy, helping transform our relationships to sex – both within ourselves and with our partners.

“I thought Anna was an excellent facilitator – knowledgeable, generous, responsive.” 

Audrey Mayer

Frequently Asked Questions

When is the workshop, and how do I join?

The workshop takes place live on Wednesday, September 9, 2026, 12–3 PM ET. After you register, you’ll receive an email with your link to join (and access to your private learning platform where the recording will be stored).

No nothing is asked of you. You can keep your camera off, join under a different name and you don’t have to participate in the Q&A. This is a safe, supportive environment where you will not be judged or pressured.

Yes, and most people do. The workshop was designed for that. Everything Anna teaches starts with your half of the pattern – and there’s guidance on when, and whether, to bring your partner in later. You’ll have lifetime access to the recording should you ever want to share it with them.

Here’s the honest answer: no one can promise you that, and you should be wary of anyone who does. What Anna can promise is that you’ll leave understanding the real cause of what happened in your relationship, with a way to rebuild your own desire and one concrete, doable step toward inviting your partner along with you. And if you need more support following the workshop, Anna will supply recommended resources and you can reach out to any of our Certified RLT therapists and coaches via our online directory

You’ll get lifetime access to the full recording, transcript, and resources – usually within a few days of the live event.

You’re welcome to join but please keep in mind this is a personal workshop, not a clinical training: the live Q&A is reserved for personal questions rather than clinical application.

We offer a 100% money-back within 48 hours of the live workshop – email support@terryreal.com by Friday, September 11 at 3 PM ET, if the workshop isn’t what you hoped.

Email us anytime at support@terryreal.com and we’ll be glad to help.

Ready to Find Your Way Back to a Deeper Connection to Pleasure, Desire, and Your Partner

– Without Pressure or Blame?

Join the live workshop with Anna Sterk, LMFT

🗓️ Wednesday, September 9, 12–3 PM ET.

Just $47

The Relational Life Institute Presents

The 3 Phases of RLT

Homestudy Course Continuing Ed Details

Facilitated by Terry Real, LICSW

This Home study course is approved for continuing education hours as described below.

NBCC (National Board of Certified Counsellors)

3 CE hours for Beginner Mental Health Professionals

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Target Audience

Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors

Course Content Level

The course content is appropriate for Intermediate level clinicians.

Course Description

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a transformative approach to couples work created by Terry Real that produces deep, profound, and lasting change in both individual partners and their relationships. Unlike traditional therapy models that separate character work from couples therapy, RLT integrates psychodynamic principles, family systems theory, feminism, trauma work, and addiction recovery into a cohesive framework designed to help people live authentically connected lives. This course introduces therapists to RLT’s distinctive methodology, which challenges conventional therapeutic practices by confronting difficult behaviors from the very first session, addressing both shame and grandiosity, taking sides when appropriate, and using judicious self-disclosure to model relationality.

Participants will learn how RLT differs from other modalities by doing deep character transformation and trauma work within the couples session itself, using the relationship as a crucible for accelerated healing.

This 3-hour foundational training covers the three core phases of RLT treatment: waking up the client through “joining through the truth,” conducting trauma work to understand and heal the adaptive child, and building relational skills that move clients beyond patriarchal patterns toward genuine intimacy. Participants will explore the tri-part model of the psyche—the wise adult, adaptive child, and wounded child—and learn to identify the recursive feedback loops (“the more the more”) that keep couples stuck. The course addresses how to work with both one-up (grandiose) and one-down (shame-based) positions, understanding that true love requires neither superiority nor inferiority but relational democracy. Through lecture, demonstration videos, and case examples, therapists will gain practical tools for helping clients shift from knee-jerk reactivity to relational mindfulness, transforming their capacity for authentic connection with themselves and others.

Learning Objectives

At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

1.

Identify the three phases of Relational Life Therapy (Waking Up the Client, Trauma Work, and Skill Building) and their sequential role in the therapeutic process.

2.

Differentiate between the three parts of the psyche in RLT (Wise Adult, Wounded Child, and Adaptive Child) and their functions in client behavior.

3.

Describe the technique of “Joining Through the Truth” and how it builds therapeutic alliance while confronting difficult behaviors.

4.

Distinguish between modeling and reacting as the two ways the Adaptive Child is formed in response to childhood experiences.

5.

Explain the therapeutic benefits of conducting trauma work with the partner present in the room rather than in individual therapy.

6.

Assess the three preconditions (untreated psychiatric disorders, active addictions, and acting out behaviors) that must be addressed before proceeding with couples therapy.

7.

Contrast individual empowerment versus relational empowerment when teaching clients to stand up for themselves within relationships.

8.

Apply the biosphere metaphor to help couples understand their interdependence and move from a control-based model to ecological wisdom.

Throughout the course, you’ll gain deeper competency in and be able to:

Continuing Ed Credits Available:

3 NBCC credit hours

CE Certificate Requirements:

It is the participant’s responsibility to check if their Board, state, organization is approved for these Continuing Ed credit hours. There is no partial credit. No refunds will be given on CE purchases for failure to check state approval.

Cost:

This course is $47.00

Commercial Support Disclaimer:

There is no conflict of interest for this program.

Cancellation Policy:

You may request a refund up to 2 days after purchase. Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

Accommodations:

Accommodations If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.  Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.” approval.

Please Note: Licensing Boards change regulations often and while we attempt to stay abreast of their most recent changes, if you have questions or concerns about this course meeting your specific board’s approval, we recommend you contact your board directly to obtain a ruling.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 

617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com; www.relationallife.com 

CE REQUIREMENTS:

The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:

The RLT Level 1 Training Course

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. 

FORMAT: Five LIVE Online Sessions on Zoom, facilitated by Kate Harris, Phd; plus teaching by Terry Real, LICSW; Cathy Hill, PhD; and Anna Sterk, LMFT

Continuing Ed credits offered:  10 credit hours for 5 Classes

At the completion of this course, all participants will be invited by email to purchase the 10 CE credits for a $40 fee. To receive a certificate, you must attend the full course. There is no partial credit, attendance will be taken.

Content:

Over five live classes you’ll be introduced to the powerful principals behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT Level 1 is designed to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model. 

Discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and swift results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described. Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness, Joining Through the Truth, and psychological patriarchy.

RLT Level 1 is the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings.

Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

  1. Compare the RLT phases and how RLT differs from traditional therapy
  2. Describe the role and approach of the therapists in RLT
  3. List the seven lenses
  4. Explain the role of data gathering

  

Throughout the course, you’ll learn: 

    • True intimacy can only happen when partners are “same as”—neither one-up nor one-down
    • That RLT Therapists and Coaches will confront and teach their clients how to actually live relationally
    • How to use the RLT Lenses in Intervention & Finding Leverage
    • How RLT Therapists and Coaches use judicious self-disclosure, sharing stories of they use these same skills in their own relationships.

Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Chemical Dependency Counselors 

Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.

Cost: $497 in full; or 3 payments of $179 each

Cancelation Policy: You may request a refund up to 2 days after the first live session.

Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us.

Registering for the course on the RLI website for is required to receive a Continuing Ed Certificate.

FAQ’s

How do I receive the Zoom link?

The Zoom link is emailed to you from ZOOM when you register for the course. If you do not receive the link, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Should the name you register with match your Zoom name?

Yes, your first and last both names must be entered on your registration and then displayed on the screen during all classes. Please do not use nicknames, or employee ID numbers or log into Zoom using a co-worker or family member’s Zoom Account as this will post you as ABSENT.

When will I get my certificate?

Certificates will be available within ten business days of the event. Certificates will be emailed to the email address you used to register for the course.

Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.

He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”

Kate Harris, PhD: Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Kate is a Clinical Psychologit and a certified Martha Bec, North Star Coach. In 2015, Kate watched Terry Real work live with 5 couples and was instantly committed to becoming an RLT therapist. Kate believes that RLT honors “the worth and dignity of all people” and it aligns clearly with her own personal values. After attending a Relationship Bootcamp workshop, she and her husband learned first hand the tools Terry reaches and they continue to use them today to deepen their 32 year relationship. Kate became RLT Certified in 2018 and is a valued teacher.

Anna Sterk, LMFT

Anna began training in RLT with Terry Real in 2012 and has been providing therapy, Essential Skills Bootcamps, consultation and supervision through the RLT model for years; Anna was thrilled to have the opportunity to teach and train practitioners as faculty with the Relational Life Institute (RLI) beginning in 2022.  Anna’s style as a therapist, teacher, and supervisor is to balance compassion and collaboration with direct feedback. Anna’s roots are in systems theory and cultural studies, which was a natural fit for the RLT model, and supports her goal of teaching the skills to navigate long term relationships and support relational living for both clients and students alike. As RLI Faculty, Anna teaches the Practicum courses and Small Group Mentoring for RLT certification students, along with special topic courses.

Cathy Hill, Ph.D., R. Psych:

Cathy Hill began training in RLT in 2010 after attending her first Relationship Bootcamp and from that experience was determined that Terry needed to teach others to do RLT. Cathy persisted in this idea and Terry ended up having Cathy set up adanced training for his senior therapists which was very well received. Soon after she was named Director of Training for RLI. Cathy is trained in the ‘scientist-practitioner’ model, and is devoted to getting RLT ‘evidence-based’ which requires excellent in training in order to translate into excellence in practice.

CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.

Grievance Procedure:

If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written

complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a

detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the

accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to

discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the

accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for

the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the

grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the

appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all

grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files. A copy of this Grievance

Procedure is available upon request.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com