Tired of Feeling Like the One Person You Can’t Forgive Is Yourself? 

Break free from shame, self-criticism, and judgment – and finally build a more loving and compassionate relationship with yourself & others in Real Self-Esteem.

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Let's Talk About Your Relationship With You...

Is it loving and compassionate… even when you screw up? 

Or is it unrelentingly harsh? Critical? Unforgiving? 

If it’s the latter, it’s completely understandable.

Most of us battle with a negative self-image but the truth is, we weren’t born with a negative inner voice..

Which means we also have the power to change it.

Truth is, you have worth simply because you are alive. Your worth cannot be added to or subtracted from. You are no worse than, no better than anyone else on this planet.

While it may feel impossible now, you can feel comfortable in your own skin.

And when you do, you’ll experience the positive ripple effect of that transformation in every aspect of your life – from your relationships with others to your performance at work.

That’s what you’ll learn inside Real Self-Esteem – the online course from Terry Real will equip you with the strategies and tools to handle your negative inner voice and finally love yourself in spite of your imperfections.

When you join Real Self -Esteem, you’ll unlock:
  • 5 on-demand classes with Terry Real (watch anytime)
  • 2 on-demand Q&As with Senior Faculty, Julie Rudiger
  • 2 LIVE bonus classes with Terry (your chance to engage directly)
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What You’ll Learn

Through a blend of on-demand classes and two bonus LIVE
90-minute classes with Terry Real, you’ll move through 3 powerful stages to reconnect to your inherent sense of worth. By the end of this course, you will finally feel at peace in your skin. You’ll know how to:

  • Move from harsh self-criticism or inflated defenses into a grounded, intrinsic sense of self-worth.
  • Recognize the two halves of self-esteem disorder – shame and grandiosity – and how they show up in your life and relationships.
  • Practice relational mindfulness to interrupt old automatic reactions and choose responses that build connection instead.
  • Handle your inner critic – you’ll get to know them and treat them with loving firmness to stop them running the show. 
  • Understand how self-esteem impacts not only your inner world, but every relationship you have – from your partner, to your children, to your coworkers.
  • Apply essential relational skills to experience healthier, more balanced relationships built on equality, respect, and love.
Join Real Self-Esteem
It’s Time To Build a Lifelong Loving Relationship With Yourself
Imagine…

No longer feeling you have to go along with everyone else to be valued, and instead feeling comfortable voicing what you truly think, feel, and need with love and respect.

Finally feeling “enough” as you are, not having to prove or earn your worth through what you own or what you’ve achieved. 

Not ripping yourself apart when you hurt someone, and instead feeling appropriately bad so you can express remorse and make amends.

Join Today
Here’s Everything You Get In Real Self-Esteem

5 On-Demand Classes with Terry Real
(watch anytime)

Get instant access to 5 transformational classes and learn how to give yourself unconditional love as a flawed human being – and extend that same compassion to others.

2 On-Demand Classes with
Julie Rudiger from the RLT Faculty

Deepen your understanding of your own inner critic and experience practical exercises to continue building healthy self-esteem. You’ll also see how Julie applies these tools directly to participant questions in our recorded
Q&A classes. 

4 Practices & Meditations
to Cultivate Healthy Self-Esteem

As soon as you sign up, you’ll receive access to 4 practices and meditations you can use time and again to help you build real self-esteem. (These include 2 from Terry Real.)

Lifetime Access to The Class
Recordings and Course Material

Refer back to the material as many times as you need to help you make real self-esteem a lifelong practice. 

An In-Depth Look At The Course

In Your On-Demand Classes With Terry Real

Class 1: What is REAL Self-Esteem?

Explore the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence and understand how our sense of self is formed. Terry will also guide you through a powerful short exercise to support your inner child healing. 

In this opening class, you’ll discover:

  • What healthy self-esteem means.
  • The 3 forms of unhealthy self-esteem common in Western culture:
    • Other-based
    • Performance-based
    • Attribute-based
  • Carried Shame (generational legacies)
  • Loyalty issues: Leaving your parents behind
Class 2: What Gets in the Way of Healthy Self-Esteem?

Uncover what’s holding you back from a healthy relationship with yourself. You’ll delve into the impact of your early childhood experiences and how they’re affecting your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in the present.

You’ll explore:

  • The 3 things that get in the way of healthy self-esteem:
    • Shame & Grandiosity: Can your self-esteem be too high? Why healthy self-esteem isn’t just pumping yourself up to be “better than” others.
    • Trauma: Understanding the impact of childhood relational trauma on your self-esteem.
    • Harshness: Explore the negative cumulative impact of harshness (to ourselves and others) on our self-esteem. 
Class 3: Practices for Restoring Inherent Self-Esteem

Get to know your stress adaptations: how you behave under stress. Uncover – and begin to heal – the unhealthy coping mechanisms you developed that once kept you protected, but now hinder connection in your adult life.

You’ll explore:

  • The 5 things that get in the way of healthy self-esteem:
    • How your Family of Origin affects your sense of self.
    • The Relationship Grid: Understand your default response during stress.
    • The Relational Context of Your Adaptation: Who/what were you adapting to?
    • Description is Prescription: How naming your stress adaptation points to your path of healing.
    • Relational Mindfulness: How to shift out of your default response into something calmer.
Class 4: Love Your Inner Child, Handle Your Inner Critic

Once you’ve identified and understood your stress responses, it’s time to heal them. In this class, you’ll learn how to replace negative self-talk with compassion, warmth, and accountability. 

You’ll explore:

  • The 3 things that get in the way of healthy self-esteem:
    • Handling your inner critic: How to change your negative internal tape.
    • Inner child work: How and when to work with your inner child, including the importance of providing nurture, guidance, and limits.
    • How to change your self-talk to support healthy self-esteem.
Class 5: Long-Term Practices for Healthy Self-Esteem

Our final class prepares you for lifelong healthy self-esteem. You’ll equip yourself with the tools to continue cultivating a better relationship with yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin.

You’ll explore:

  • The difference between Shame and Remorse: How to “get over yourself” when you make a mistake.
  • Negative thought spirals: How to catch yourself in a negative thought spiral, so you can halt harsh self-talk.
  • How to be in your Wise Adult self so you can learn from your mistakes and turn them into opportunities
    for growth.
In Your On-Demand Classes With Julie Rudiger
Class #1: The Inner Critic

Where does your inner critic come from? Take your understanding to a deeper level as you explore:

You’ll explore:

  • The difference between Shame and Remorse: How to “get over yourself” when you make a mistake.
  • Negative thought spirals: How to catch yourself in a negative thought spiral, so you can halt harsh self-talk.
  • How to be in your Wise Adult self so you can learn from your mistakes and turn them into opportunities
    for growth.
Class #2: Practices to Develop Self-Esteem (with Q&A)

To support your ongoing practice of cultivating healthy self-esteem, Julie will introduce you to further practices. This class also includes a recorded Q&A about the course content. 

Examples of the guided reflections and practical exercises covered in this session include:

  • Naming and seeing your inner critic as separate from you.
  • Mindfulness practices to disengage from your inner critic.
  • Savoring your victories and positive experiences. 
Join Real Self-Esteem Today

Choose the payment option that best suits you. 

2 x Monthly Payments
$159
Pay in Full
$295
Our Promise and Guarantee

We’re confident you’ll love Real Self-Esteem, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 14 days of starting the course and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.

What Others Say About Terry’s Classes

“ It felt very profound and healing for me… I loved Terry's energy and how tenderly he spoke to the students when they came on to share. He made the concepts so clear and easy to understand and they really resonated with me. I appreciated his competence and his warmth. The five classes with him were life changing for me. ”

— Michelle

“ Something truly valuable..  Terry’s capacity to hold the spontaneity of whatever comes up with a sense of hope and tenderness, so whoever shares their experience, often with trepidation, takes something truly valuable away.”

— Amanda

“ Loved Terry's interactions with students… His focus, presence, and compassion. His beautifully worded questions and gentle prodding. His eye contact. His expressions. The way he asked about tears. LOVED it all! His presence there will stay with me. ”

— Gina Clowes
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Join Real Self-Esteem Today

Choose the payment option that best suits you. 

Terry Real, LICSW, creator of Relational Life Therapy
Terry created Real Self-Esteem to help people heal the very struggles he faced in his own life – shame, grandiosity, and self-criticism

He is the creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a groundbreaking therapeutic approach that equips people with the essential relational skills to build and sustain authentic connections – to themselves, each other, and the planet as a whole. The author of four books, Terry’s most recent is the New York Times bestseller, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, which guides readers toward deeper intimacy and fulfillment. 

Known as “the turnaround guy,” Terry is famous for his extraordinary ability to save couples on the brink of divorce. Through his esteemed training school, the Relational Life Institute, he has trained thousands of mental health practitioners in his RLT method to date.

Julie Rudiger, LCSW, Senior RLT Faculty 

Julie has been a licensed therapist since 1993 and was introduced to Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy in 2008. She became certified in 2010, and since then, her practice and personal life has transformed.

Julie loves the value of Full Respect Living, which is the tenet of RLT. Teaching clients and therapists the model remains the central focus of her practice. She loves the role of “coach” in teaching the skills. She believes most couples and individuals just need the education and tools to better care for themselves and their partners and families.

Julie is also co-leader of the Relationship Boot Camp in Denver, which helps individuals and couples learn the skills in 2-day intensive workshops. A senior RLT therapist and a senior member of the RLT Faculty, Julie is part of the team responsible for training mental health practitioners in the Relational Life Therapy method.

Frequently Asked Questions
Is this course live?

This is a self-paced course including five recorded classes with Terry Real and two recorded classes and Q&A with Julie Rudiger, LCSW, from the RLT faculty. 

Forever! You’ll have lifetime access to the class recordings inside the private learning platform, to watch back as many times as you like. 

If you commit to watching the course contents, doing the work, and practicing the skills Terry and his team will teach you, you can cultivate a more loving relationship with yourself. Your self-worth will not change overnight, but with dedicated practice, the insights and skills within this course can help you hold yourself in warm regard despite your imperfections and mistakes. 

Please reach out to our support team at support@terryreal.com. 

Embark on Your Path To a More Loving Relationship With Yourself
Don’t Miss Your Chance to Join Terry Real Live!

🗓️ October 14 & October 16

When you join, you get:

  • Instant access to 7 on-demand classes and guided practices
  • 2 LIVE classes with Terry this October (recorded if you can’t attend)
  • Lifetime access to all course contents in your private learning hub

🔒Remember, you’re fully protected by our 14-day money-back guarantee – so there’s no risk in joining.

Join Real Self-Esteem Today

The Relational Life Institute Presents

The 3 Phases of RLT

Homestudy Course Continuing Ed Details

Facilitated by Terry Real, LICSW

This Home study course is approved for continuing education hours as described below.

NBCC (National Board of Certified Counsellors)

3 CE hours for Beginner Mental Health Professionals

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Target Audience

Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors

Course Content Level

The course content is appropriate for Intermediate level clinicians.

Course Description

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a transformative approach to couples work created by Terry Real that produces deep, profound, and lasting change in both individual partners and their relationships. Unlike traditional therapy models that separate character work from couples therapy, RLT integrates psychodynamic principles, family systems theory, feminism, trauma work, and addiction recovery into a cohesive framework designed to help people live authentically connected lives. This course introduces therapists to RLT’s distinctive methodology, which challenges conventional therapeutic practices by confronting difficult behaviors from the very first session, addressing both shame and grandiosity, taking sides when appropriate, and using judicious self-disclosure to model relationality.

Participants will learn how RLT differs from other modalities by doing deep character transformation and trauma work within the couples session itself, using the relationship as a crucible for accelerated healing.

This 3-hour foundational training covers the three core phases of RLT treatment: waking up the client through “joining through the truth,” conducting trauma work to understand and heal the adaptive child, and building relational skills that move clients beyond patriarchal patterns toward genuine intimacy. Participants will explore the tri-part model of the psyche—the wise adult, adaptive child, and wounded child—and learn to identify the recursive feedback loops (“the more the more”) that keep couples stuck. The course addresses how to work with both one-up (grandiose) and one-down (shame-based) positions, understanding that true love requires neither superiority nor inferiority but relational democracy. Through lecture, demonstration videos, and case examples, therapists will gain practical tools for helping clients shift from knee-jerk reactivity to relational mindfulness, transforming their capacity for authentic connection with themselves and others.

Learning Objectives

At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

1.

Identify the three phases of Relational Life Therapy (Waking Up the Client, Trauma Work, and Skill Building) and their sequential role in the therapeutic process.

2.

Differentiate between the three parts of the psyche in RLT (Wise Adult, Wounded Child, and Adaptive Child) and their functions in client behavior.

3.

Describe the technique of “Joining Through the Truth” and how it builds therapeutic alliance while confronting difficult behaviors.

4.

Distinguish between modeling and reacting as the two ways the Adaptive Child is formed in response to childhood experiences.

5.

Explain the therapeutic benefits of conducting trauma work with the partner present in the room rather than in individual therapy.

6.

Assess the three preconditions (untreated psychiatric disorders, active addictions, and acting out behaviors) that must be addressed before proceeding with couples therapy.

7.

Contrast individual empowerment versus relational empowerment when teaching clients to stand up for themselves within relationships.

8.

Apply the biosphere metaphor to help couples understand their interdependence and move from a control-based model to ecological wisdom.

Throughout the course, you’ll gain deeper competency in and be able to:

  • Illustrate that true intimacy can only be achieved through guiding clients out of individual empowerment and into relational empowerment.
  • Discuss how RLT practitioners will confront and teach their clients how to live relationally.
  • Hypothesize how RLT practitioners identify the right points to move clients through each of the 3 phases of treatment.

How to Register:

The Couple Therapists Workshop – Terry Real Homepage 

Continuing Ed Credits Available:

3 NBCC credit hours

CE Certificate Requirements:

It is the participant’s responsibility to check if their Board, state, organization is approved for these Continuing Ed credit hours. There is no partial credit. No refunds will be given on CE purchases for failure to check state approval.

Cost:

This course is $47.00

Commercial Support Disclaimer:

There is no conflict of interest for this program.

Cancellation Policy:

You may request a refund up to 2 days after purchase. Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

Accommodations:

Accommodations If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.  Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.” approval.

Please Note: Licensing Boards change regulations often and while we attempt to stay abreast of their most recent changes, if you have questions or concerns about this course meeting your specific board’s approval, we recommend you contact your board directly to obtain a ruling.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 

617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com; www.relationallife.com 

CE REQUIREMENTS:

The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:

The RLT Level 1 Training Course

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. 

FORMAT: Five LIVE Online Sessions on Zoom, facilitated by Kate Harris, Phd; plus teaching by Terry Real, LICSW; Cathy Hill, PhD; and Anna Sterk, LMFT

Continuing Ed credits offered:  10 credit hours for 5 Classes

At the completion of this course, all participants will be invited by email to purchase the 10 CE credits for a $40 fee. To receive a certificate, you must attend the full course. There is no partial credit, attendance will be taken.

Content:

Over five live classes you’ll be introduced to the powerful principals behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT Level 1 is designed to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model. 

Discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and swift results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described. Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness, Joining Through the Truth, and psychological patriarchy.

RLT Level 1 is the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings.

Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

  1. Compare the RLT phases and how RLT differs from traditional therapy
  2. Describe the role and approach of the therapists in RLT
  3. List the seven lenses
  4. Explain the role of data gathering

  

Throughout the course, you’ll learn: 

    • True intimacy can only happen when partners are “same as”—neither one-up nor one-down
    • That RLT Therapists and Coaches will confront and teach their clients how to actually live relationally
    • How to use the RLT Lenses in Intervention & Finding Leverage
    • How RLT Therapists and Coaches use judicious self-disclosure, sharing stories of they use these same skills in their own relationships.

Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Chemical Dependency Counselors 

Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.

Cost: $497 in full; or 3 payments of $179 each

Course Dates & Hours: 

January 14, 21, 28; February 17, 11, 2025

Hours: 12pm to 2pm Eastern Time each class

Cancelation Policy: You may request a refund up to 2 days after the first live session.

Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us.

Registering for the course on the RLI website for is required to receive a Continuing Ed Certificate.

FAQ’s

How do I receive the Zoom link?

The Zoom link is emailed to you from ZOOM when you register for the course. If you do not receive the link, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Should the name you register with match your Zoom name?

Yes, your first and last both names must be entered on your registration and then displayed on the screen during all classes. Please do not use nicknames, or employee ID numbers or log into Zoom using a co-worker or family member’s Zoom Account as this will post you as ABSENT.

When will I get my certificate?

Certificates will be available within ten business days of the event. Certificates will be emailed to the email address you used to register for the course.

Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.

He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”

Kate Harris, PhD: Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Kate is a Clinical Psychologit and a certified Martha Bec, North Star Coach. In 2015, Kate watched Terry Real work live with 5 couples and was instantly committed to becoming an RLT therapist. Kate believes that RLT honors “the worth and dignity of all people” and it aligns clearly with her own personal values. After attending a Relationship Bootcamp workshop, she and her husband learned first hand the tools Terry reaches and they continue to use them today to deepen their 32 year relationship. Kate became RLT Certified in 2018 and is a valued teacher.

Anna Sterk, LMFT

Anna began training in RLT with Terry Real in 2012 and has been providing therapy, Essential Skills Bootcamps, consultation and supervision through the RLT model for years; Anna was thrilled to have the opportunity to teach and train practitioners as faculty with the Relational Life Institute (RLI) beginning in 2022.  Anna’s style as a therapist, teacher, and supervisor is to balance compassion and collaboration with direct feedback. Anna’s roots are in systems theory and cultural studies, which was a natural fit for the RLT model, and supports her goal of teaching the skills to navigate long term relationships and support relational living for both clients and students alike. As RLI Faculty, Anna teaches the Practicum courses and Small Group Mentoring for RLT certification students, along with special topic courses.

Cathy Hill, Ph.D., R. Psych:

Cathy Hill began training in RLT in 2010 after attending her first Relationship Bootcamp and from that experience was determined that Terry needed to teach others to do RLT. Cathy persisted in this idea and Terry ended up having Cathy set up adanced training for his senior therapists which was very well received. Soon after she was named Director of Training for RLI. Cathy is trained in the ‘scientist-practitioner’ model, and is devoted to getting RLT ‘evidence-based’ which requires excellent in training in order to translate into excellence in practice.

CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.

Grievance Procedure:

If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written

complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a

detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the

accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to

discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the

accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for

the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the

grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the

appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all

grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files. A copy of this Grievance

Procedure is available upon request.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com