“Pay attention to your vulnerable feelings, and lead with those,” says therapist Terry Real, who comes back on The goop Podcast to help us navigate sheltering in place with significant others. Real guides us on how to step up for our partners (and ourselves) in crisis. He dissuades us from falling back on losing strategies that make us feel disconnected and instead outlines a path toward a healthier, more pleasurable dynamic (while reassuring us that a little “marital hatred” is still normal). Real believes in what he calls fierce intimacy. It’s not always pretty, but it allows us to repair our relationships and build trust—and it brings us closer together.

Listen to the podcast here.