I’m in a Relationship – So Why Do I Feel So Lonely?

Understand why, where, and how closeness has faded in your relationship – and clear action steps you can take right now to deepen your connection. 

🗓️ Thursday, July 30 | 12–3pm ET

Join LIVE for just $47

100% Money-Back Guarantee

Whether you’re in a marriage that feels like roommates, whether you’re recognizing the resentment that is coming up in your relationship, Terry is asking us all to look at where you’re at as one giant opportunity.”

— Mel Robbins

#1 New York Times bestselling author and award-winning podcast host

There’s a Particular Kind of Lonely No One Warns You About

Not an empty house or the lack of day-to-day contact we often associate with loneliness. 

But that sense of feeling alone despite having someone to share a bed, a kitchen, a life with. 

From the outside, maybe it all looks fine. Good, even. And yet there’s still some deeper part of you who doesn’t feel met. It’s almost like you’re watching your own relationship through a pane of glass.

And this kind of feeling is often so hard to explain. There’s no screaming, no betrayal, nothing you could point to and say that – that’s the problem. Just a gap between you that’s slowly getting bigger. And a growing sense that you may be carrying a discontent, a sadness, an anger that they have no idea is even there.

So you start to wonder if you’re the problem. Maybe you want too much. Maybe this is just what long-term love looks like and you should be grateful.

Perhaps you tried to bring it up once – dropped a hint, or said it straight out – and it turned into a fight, or a blank look, or a “what are you talking about, everything’s fine.” So you swallowed it. And told yourself to stop making a big deal out of nothing.

But it isn’t nothing. That ache is real. That longing to be known by the person who’s supposed to know you best – it’s one of the most human things there is.

Terry Real has spent more than 40 years helping couples facing this exact dilemma and the good news is: there is a way to drive connection deeper with your partner. 

And in this live 3-hour workshop, he’ll show you how to get there.

Join the LIVE Workshop

And When We Feel This Distance, We Try To Fix It With More

More time together, more date nights, a weekend away together – just the two of us. And then wonder why we end up feeling even more alone. 

The truth is, the closeness we’re missing isn’t the kind more contact can fix. But no one ever taught us that, so we’re left feeling the emptiness and assuming something’s wrong with us – or our partner. 

Thankfully, there’s another way out of this. And in your 3 hours together, Terry Real will help you identify exactly where your connection went quiet, and how to bring it back to life. 

Join the LIVE Workshop

Discover the Path Back to Closeness

Over 3 hours, Terry will walk you through the steps that take you from feeling alone to feeling close again: 

1

Understand What’s Blocking Your Connection

From understanding what intimacy really is to how your unconsciously blocking the very thing you’re seeking so you know how to move forward.

2

Identify Which Areas of Your Relationship Need Work

Terry will guide you through the 5 domains of intimacy – helping you give an honest assessment of how well you and your partner are doing in each.

3

Understand What’s Blocking Your Connection

From how to communicate effectively when you’re hurt, how to ask for more of what you want – and invite it from your partner – you’ll learn to close the gap between you.

What You’ll Learn

We tend to imagine transformation as one dramatic moment that changes everything. But connection is something you do – and you can learn to do it better.

In this live 3-hour workshop with Terry Real, you’ll learn:

  • Why you feel lonely even in a committed relationship – and why "more time together" hasn't closed the gap.
  • The hidden way you may be blocking the very closeness you want – whether you tend to wall off and shut down, or lose yourself trying to keep the peace.
  • How to take an honest inventory of all five places real intimacy lives – so you can pinpoint exactly which ones have gone quiet, instead of guessing.
  • A step-by-step way to bring up something hard – disappointment, hurt, resentment – without it turning into a fight.
  • The 3 steps to getting more of what you want from your partner – in a way that invites generosity rather than defensiveness.
  • How to be the change you're longing for – the small shifts that invite your partner to meet you, without nagging or complaining.
  • When the loneliness is a sign to get more support – and how to know the difference between a gap you can close yourself and one that needs a therapist.

You don’t have to keep feeling lonely in your own relationship. You just need someone to show you the way back into connection. Let Terry be your guide.

Join the LIVE Workshop

“So liberating for me when I realize that I am the one who can change.

I loved Terry’s emphasis that you can only change yourself, not your partner. I now understand how my journey towards healthy self esteem has provided me with the perfect foundation to become a loving partner and to create the intimate relationship I have always desired.”

— Elaine Van Melle

Here's Everything You Get When You Join

You don’t have to keep feeling lonely in your own relationship. You just need someone to show you the way back into connection. Let Terry be your guide.

The LIVE 3-hour workshop with Terry Real

on Thursday, July 30 Terry will walk you through exactly why connection fades and how to rebuild it.

Lifetime access to the recording

can’t make it live, or want to revisit? It’s yours to keep and come back to whenever you need it.

The chance to ask Terry directly

get advice on your own situation in the live Q&A.

Learn alongside others who get it

you’re not the only one feeling this way, and there’s something quietly powerful about realizing that.

100% money-back guarantee

if it’s not what you hoped, just let us know within 48 hours of the live workshop for a full refund, no questions asked

All of it for just $47.

Join the LIVE Workshop

Try It Completely Risk-Free

You’re protected by a 100% money-back guarantee. If the workshop isn’t what you hoped, just email us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the live session (Thursday, July 30, 12pm ET) for a full refund. No questions asked.

So if you’re on the fence, come along and take it all in – you risk nothing by giving it a chance.

The only thing you do risk is continuing to feel alone in your relationship. This is your chance to do something about it. 

This Workshop Is for You If…

  • You feel more like roommates than partners.

    You share a home, a calendar, maybe a bed – but somewhere along the way the closeness went quiet, and you're not even sure when.
  • Some things are great, and others… not so much.

    You’d like help identifying what’s going well and where there’s room for improvement to deepen your connection.
  • You feel like your partner isn’t interested.

    Every suggestion, every bid for connection seems to fall flat and you’re tired of being the only one trying.
  • You’re the one who’s pulling away.

    You know you've gone a little numb or shut down, and you don't quite know how to find your way back into the relationship.
  • You're a therapist or coach

    And you’d like Terry's take on why connection can slowly break down – and the steps to help couples reconnect.
Join LIVE for just $47

For more than 40 years, Terry Real has helped thousands of couples find their way back to each other…

Including many who were certain the closeness was gone for good. 

He’s the creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and the New York Times bestselling author of Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Known for his warm, no-nonsense honesty, Terry has spent his career teaching people the relational skills most of us were simply never taught – how to stop the patterns that quietly pull partners apart, and how to build the kind of deep, lasting connection we all long for.

In this workshop, he brings that four decades of experience straight to you.

Stories From People Who Found Their Way Back to Connection

Hear how Terry Real’s tools, workshops, and courses have helped others facing similar situations.

“A 100% turn around on how I see my relationship and how I speak to my husband.

I was never taught how to be in an equal relationship and really needed to be told words/phrases on how to speak – i.e. to request rather than demand or direct. That was a game changer and easy once I was given words to use – I would have stumbled for months or years!”

— Jan Moberg
on the Getting What You Want From Your Relationship course

“It resolved the incessant arguments that were happening in the marriage…

And showed us how to navigate them successfully from conflict, disharmony, repair and back to harmony.

–  Ellen Burbano
on the Getting What You Want in Your Relationship course

“I am cherishing every moment of this journey.

I feel I’m getting to a point where “the dots” are beginning to connect for me. Attending a workshop like this and listening closely to Terry et al, made the connections between those dots stronger and clearer, and assisted me to validate my interpretation of all of my readings to date.

My journey to understand my SELF and heal, to become a better person, husband, father etc has been a long road. I am cherishing every moment of this journey.”

– Jim MacDougall
on the Unstuck workshop

“We really appreciate the experiences that renewed our marriage celebrating our 50th this year!

We participated in the RLT Staying in Love recorded program in September 2021 and also in the live Couples Experiential Workshop in January 2022. We have since been more patient and understanding with ourselves, each other, and even with other people in our lives. 

Terry’s distinct philosophy of gentle honesty and mutual respect is a gem. What we learned about ourselves and each other has changed the way we think and live as a couple every day.”

– John & Pamela
on the Staying in Love course and Couples Experiential

Here's Everything You Get When You Join

You don’t have to keep feeling lonely in your own relationship. You just need someone to show you the way back into connection. Let Terry be your guide.

The LIVE 3-hour workshop with Terry Real

on Thursday, July 30 Terry will walk you through exactly why connection fades and how to rebuild it.

Lifetime access to the recording

can’t make it live, or want to revisit? It’s yours to keep and come back to whenever you need it.

The chance to ask Terry directly

get advice on your own situation in the live Q&A.

Learn alongside others who get it

you’re not the only one feeling this way, and there’s something quietly powerful about realizing that.

100% money-back guarantee

if it’s not what you hoped, just let us know within 48 hours of the live workshop for a full refund, no questions asked

All of it for just $47.

Join the LIVE Workshop

Frequently Asked Questions

When is the live workshop?

The live workshop takes place on Thursday, July 30, from 12–3pm ET. 

If you can’t join us live, we recommend still registering as you receive lifetime access to the recording

The workshop will take place over Zoom. As soon as you sign up, you’ll receive a confirmation email from us with your Zoom link to join on the day. We’ll also send you reminder emails in the days before, as well as one hour prior to the workshop. These will all contain your Zoom link.

You can still sign up! You receive lifetime access to the recording. This will be stored in your private learning platform (if you’re new to our courses, you will receive login details via email as soon as you sign up).

There are no guarantees. If you are committed to making your relationship work, this workshop will introduce you to relational skills that will help you reignite your connection and ease the sense of loneliness you’ve been carrying. However, this workshop is not intended as a substitute for therapy and if you feel you need extra support, we recommend searching our website directory for an RLT-certified practitioner in your area.

No – you can join with your camera off and say nothing for the whole workshop. Terry will do most of the talking as he shares insights and skills designed to help you. He will open up space for Q&A, and only those who wish to share their experiences or ask a question will be called on.

You can join alone or together. Terry will share from his four decades of experience working with couples and individuals grappling with the feeling of distance and disconnection in their relationship. It is of course wonderful if you’re able to join together but you will be able to apply the skills Terry will share to change how you show up in the relationship, which will invite your partner to also change how they respond.

This workshop is designed to help people in their own relationships and Q&A will be reserved for this rather than clinical application of the work. However, what you will explore will help you gain an understanding of how loneliness and distance can slowly grow between couples, and some of the steps to help them reconnect.

We’re confident you’ll find this workshop helpful, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the live workshop (on Thursday, July 30, at 12 pm ET) and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.

Please contact us at support@terryreal.com.

Ready to Stop Feeling Lonely in Your Own Relationship?

Here’s everything you get when you join the live workshop:

  • LIVE 3-hour workshop with Terry Real – July 30, 12–3pm ET
  • Lifetime access to the recording – to watch back as often as you need
  • Live Q&A – the chance to ask Terry about your situation.
  • A supportive group of people who know exactly what you're feeling
  • 100% money-back guarantee.

All of it for just $47.

Join the LIVE Workshop

The Relational Life Institute Presents

The 3 Phases of RLT

Homestudy Course Continuing Ed Details

Facilitated by Terry Real, LICSW

This Home study course is approved for continuing education hours as described below.

NBCC (National Board of Certified Counsellors)

3 CE hours for Beginner Mental Health Professionals

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

Target Audience

Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors

Course Content Level

The course content is appropriate for Intermediate level clinicians.

Course Description

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a transformative approach to couples work created by Terry Real that produces deep, profound, and lasting change in both individual partners and their relationships. Unlike traditional therapy models that separate character work from couples therapy, RLT integrates psychodynamic principles, family systems theory, feminism, trauma work, and addiction recovery into a cohesive framework designed to help people live authentically connected lives. This course introduces therapists to RLT’s distinctive methodology, which challenges conventional therapeutic practices by confronting difficult behaviors from the very first session, addressing both shame and grandiosity, taking sides when appropriate, and using judicious self-disclosure to model relationality.

Participants will learn how RLT differs from other modalities by doing deep character transformation and trauma work within the couples session itself, using the relationship as a crucible for accelerated healing.

This 3-hour foundational training covers the three core phases of RLT treatment: waking up the client through “joining through the truth,” conducting trauma work to understand and heal the adaptive child, and building relational skills that move clients beyond patriarchal patterns toward genuine intimacy. Participants will explore the tri-part model of the psyche—the wise adult, adaptive child, and wounded child—and learn to identify the recursive feedback loops (“the more the more”) that keep couples stuck. The course addresses how to work with both one-up (grandiose) and one-down (shame-based) positions, understanding that true love requires neither superiority nor inferiority but relational democracy. Through lecture, demonstration videos, and case examples, therapists will gain practical tools for helping clients shift from knee-jerk reactivity to relational mindfulness, transforming their capacity for authentic connection with themselves and others.

Learning Objectives

At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

1.

Identify the three phases of Relational Life Therapy (Waking Up the Client, Trauma Work, and Skill Building) and their sequential role in the therapeutic process.

2.

Differentiate between the three parts of the psyche in RLT (Wise Adult, Wounded Child, and Adaptive Child) and their functions in client behavior.

3.

Describe the technique of “Joining Through the Truth” and how it builds therapeutic alliance while confronting difficult behaviors.

4.

Distinguish between modeling and reacting as the two ways the Adaptive Child is formed in response to childhood experiences.

5.

Explain the therapeutic benefits of conducting trauma work with the partner present in the room rather than in individual therapy.

6.

Assess the three preconditions (untreated psychiatric disorders, active addictions, and acting out behaviors) that must be addressed before proceeding with couples therapy.

7.

Contrast individual empowerment versus relational empowerment when teaching clients to stand up for themselves within relationships.

8.

Apply the biosphere metaphor to help couples understand their interdependence and move from a control-based model to ecological wisdom.

Throughout the course, you’ll gain deeper competency in and be able to:

  • Illustrate that true intimacy can only be achieved through guiding clients out of individual empowerment and into relational empowerment.
  • Discuss how RLT practitioners will confront and teach their clients how to live relationally.
  • Hypothesize how RLT practitioners identify the right points to move clients through each of the 3 phases of treatment.

How to Register:

The Couple Therapists Workshop – Terry Real Homepage 

Continuing Ed Credits Available:

3 NBCC credit hours

CE Certificate Requirements:

It is the participant’s responsibility to check if their Board, state, organization is approved for these Continuing Ed credit hours. There is no partial credit. No refunds will be given on CE purchases for failure to check state approval.

Cost:

This course is $47.00

Commercial Support Disclaimer:

There is no conflict of interest for this program.

Cancellation Policy:

You may request a refund up to 2 days after purchase. Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

Accommodations:

Accommodations If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.  Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.” approval.

Please Note: Licensing Boards change regulations often and while we attempt to stay abreast of their most recent changes, if you have questions or concerns about this course meeting your specific board’s approval, we recommend you contact your board directly to obtain a ruling.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 

617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com; www.relationallife.com 

CE REQUIREMENTS:

The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:

The RLT Level 1 Training Course

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. 

FORMAT: Five LIVE Online Sessions on Zoom, facilitated by Kate Harris, Phd; plus teaching by Terry Real, LICSW; Cathy Hill, PhD; and Anna Sterk, LMFT

Continuing Ed credits offered:  10 credit hours for 5 Classes

At the completion of this course, all participants will be invited by email to purchase the 10 CE credits for a $40 fee. To receive a certificate, you must attend the full course. There is no partial credit, attendance will be taken.

Content:

Over five live classes you’ll be introduced to the powerful principals behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT Level 1 is designed to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model. 

Discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and swift results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described. Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness, Joining Through the Truth, and psychological patriarchy.

RLT Level 1 is the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings.

Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:

  1. Compare the RLT phases and how RLT differs from traditional therapy
  2. Describe the role and approach of the therapists in RLT
  3. List the seven lenses
  4. Explain the role of data gathering

  

Throughout the course, you’ll learn: 

    • True intimacy can only happen when partners are “same as”—neither one-up nor one-down
    • That RLT Therapists and Coaches will confront and teach their clients how to actually live relationally
    • How to use the RLT Lenses in Intervention & Finding Leverage
    • How RLT Therapists and Coaches use judicious self-disclosure, sharing stories of they use these same skills in their own relationships.

Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Chemical Dependency Counselors 

Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.

Cost: $497 in full; or 3 payments of $179 each

Cancelation Policy: You may request a refund up to 2 days after the first live session.

Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.

If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us.

Registering for the course on the RLI website for is required to receive a Continuing Ed Certificate.

FAQ’s

How do I receive the Zoom link?

The Zoom link is emailed to you from ZOOM when you register for the course. If you do not receive the link, please contact us at support@terryreal.com

Should the name you register with match your Zoom name?

Yes, your first and last both names must be entered on your registration and then displayed on the screen during all classes. Please do not use nicknames, or employee ID numbers or log into Zoom using a co-worker or family member’s Zoom Account as this will post you as ABSENT.

When will I get my certificate?

Certificates will be available within ten business days of the event. Certificates will be emailed to the email address you used to register for the course.

Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com

Instructor’s Bios:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.

He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”

Kate Harris, PhD: Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Kate is a Clinical Psychologit and a certified Martha Bec, North Star Coach. In 2015, Kate watched Terry Real work live with 5 couples and was instantly committed to becoming an RLT therapist. Kate believes that RLT honors “the worth and dignity of all people” and it aligns clearly with her own personal values. After attending a Relationship Bootcamp workshop, she and her husband learned first hand the tools Terry reaches and they continue to use them today to deepen their 32 year relationship. Kate became RLT Certified in 2018 and is a valued teacher.

Anna Sterk, LMFT

Anna began training in RLT with Terry Real in 2012 and has been providing therapy, Essential Skills Bootcamps, consultation and supervision through the RLT model for years; Anna was thrilled to have the opportunity to teach and train practitioners as faculty with the Relational Life Institute (RLI) beginning in 2022.  Anna’s style as a therapist, teacher, and supervisor is to balance compassion and collaboration with direct feedback. Anna’s roots are in systems theory and cultural studies, which was a natural fit for the RLT model, and supports her goal of teaching the skills to navigate long term relationships and support relational living for both clients and students alike. As RLI Faculty, Anna teaches the Practicum courses and Small Group Mentoring for RLT certification students, along with special topic courses.

Cathy Hill, Ph.D., R. Psych:

Cathy Hill began training in RLT in 2010 after attending her first Relationship Bootcamp and from that experience was determined that Terry needed to teach others to do RLT. Cathy persisted in this idea and Terry ended up having Cathy set up adanced training for his senior therapists which was very well received. Soon after she was named Director of Training for RLI. Cathy is trained in the ‘scientist-practitioner’ model, and is devoted to getting RLT ‘evidence-based’ which requires excellent in training in order to translate into excellence in practice.

CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.

Grievance Procedure:

If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written

complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a

detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the

accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to

discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the

accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for

the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the

grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the

appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all

grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files. A copy of this Grievance

Procedure is available upon request.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com