(35-40) You are rich in intimacy. It may not match up with our idealized vision of a "perfect" relationship, but you are in great shape. While there may be rough spots, as a couple, you are not stuck. Relax and appreciate it! You will find Chapter Two of The New Rules of Marriage and its discussion of why we marry our unfinished business relevant. Most important to you may be Chapter eight's discussion of the untapped power of cherishing, which will show you how to build on your strengths through appreciation.

(30-35) You are in a solid relationship. If you scored a preponderance of "b's" you are highly companionable but might work to further a more passionate connection, and richer communication. Either or both of you may be operating behind walls, as discussed in Chapter Four of The New Rules of Marriage in the section on boundaries. The book's discussions on actively going after what you want, speaking out with love, and daring to rock the boat, (all in Chapter Six) should be helpful. If your score was mixed (highs and lows) you are still a solid relationship although on the surface you may look volatile. Chapter Two's discussion of the five losing strategies are relevant for you, as well as Chapter Two and Chapter Five's discussion of boundary violating behaviors.

(25-30) If your score was made up mostly of "b"s and "c"s then you are in a workable relationship but one that lacks real connection. You must work to open up communication and start sharing more in one another's life. Chapter Seven's discussion on how to listen and respond generously will be of particular interest to you. If your score was all over the map, then you are in a volatile relationship and you must learn the skills of mature intimacy - all five winning strategies would be important to master. If you don't see much progress, consider a couple's therapist.

(20-25) Your relationship is in trouble. You are either very distant, sharing little intimacy (if your score was consistently low) or you are highly volatile with a lot of unresolved conflict (if there was a lot of scatter in your answers). In either case, it is hard to imagine that you are happy or that this is a healthy emotional environment. You made the right move in selecting this book. All of it will be important for you particularly the book's discussion on how to find a good counselor and how to "train" him or her to be truly helpful.

(15-20) Unfortunately, there is little positive between the two of you holding the relationship together. It is extremely doubtful that you can fix this without help. You are desperate to learn how to move into repair (Chapters Six and Seven). When things go wrong in your relationship, they tend to stay unresolved. You are fast losing the good feelings that brought you together. Instead, the relationship has begun to revolve around the losing strategies of control and revenge (Chapter Two). Use Time-Outs (Chapter Three) and make a commitment to stop abusive behaviors right now. You may find help in Chapter Four's discussion of clean-up issues helpful as well.

(10-15) You are in a disaster - either a highly psychologically abusive relationship or one with virtually no intimacy at all. You are stuck in either the losing strategy of retaliation or, worse, in the final stage of love's degeneration - total withdrawal (Chapter Two). If you have been silenced, you must dare to speak!. If you really deal with your dissatisfaction in this relationship, it may well blow up - that is a real risk. On the other hand, your feelings about the relationship are rapidly becoming so toxic you will either break up anyway or, perhaps worse, persist in a situation you find miserable. You need work to either make a decision to embrace the relationship while standing up for yourself in it or leave. Read Chapter eight's discussion on what to do when your partner's not on board. You should either trsansform your relationship or consider leaving it.

(35-40) You are rich in intimacy. It may not match up with our idealized vision of a "perfect" relationship, but you are in great shape. While there may be rough spots, as a couple, you are not stuck. Relax and appreciate it! You will find Chapter Two of The New Rules of Marriage and its discussion of why we marry our unfinished business relevant. Most important to you may be Chapter eight's discussion of the untapped power of cherishing, which will show you how to build on your strengths through appreciation.

(30-35) You are in a solid relationship. If you scored a preponderance of "b's" you are highly companionable but might work to further a more passionate connection, and richer communication. Either or both of you may be operating behind walls, as discussed in Chapter Four of The New Rules of Marriage in the section on boundaries. The book's discussions on actively going after what you want, speaking out with love, and daring to rock the boat, (all in Chapter Six) should be helpful. If your score was mixed (highs and lows) you are still a solid relationship although on the surface you may look volatile. Chapter Two's discussion of the five losing strategies are relevant for you, as well as Chapter Two and Chapter Five's discussion of boundary violating behaviors.

(25-30) If your score was made up mostly of "b"s and "c"s then you are in a workable relationship but one that lacks real connection. You must work to open up communication and start sharing more in one another's life. Chapter Seven's discussion on how to listen and respond generously will be of particular interest to you. If your score was all over the map, then you are in a volatile relationship and you must learn the skills of mature intimacy - all five winning strategies would be important to master. If you don't see much progress, consider a couple's therapist.

(20-25) Your relationship is in trouble. You are either very distant, sharing little intimacy (if your score was consistently low) or you are highly volatile with a lot of unresolved conflict (if there was a lot of scatter in your answers). In either case, it is hard to imagine that you are happy or that this is a healthy emotional environment. You made the right move in selecting this book. All of it will be important for you particularly the book's discussion on how to find a good counselor and how to "train" him or her to be truly helpful.

(15-20) Unfortunately, there is little positive between the two of you holding the relationship together. It is extremely doubtful that you can fix this without help. You are desperate to learn how to move into repair (Chapters Six and Seven). When things go wrong in your relationship, they tend to stay unresolved. You are fast losing the good feelings that brought you together. Instead, the relationship has begun to revolve around the losing strategies of control and revenge (Chapter Two). Use Time-Outs (Chapter Three) and make a commitment to stop abusive behaviors right now. You may find help in Chapter Four's discussion of clean-up issues helpful as well.

(10-15) You are in a disaster - either a highly psychologically abusive relationship or one with virtually no intimacy at all. You are stuck in either the losing strategy of retaliation or, worse, in the final stage of love's degeneration - total withdrawal (Chapter Two). If you have been silenced, you must dare to speak!. If you really deal with your dissatisfaction in this relationship, it may well blow up - that is a real risk. On the other hand, your feelings about the relationship are rapidly becoming so toxic you will either break up anyway or, perhaps worse, persist in a situation you find miserable. You need work to either make a decision to embrace the relationship while standing up for yourself in it or leave. Read Chapter eight's discussion on what to do when your partner's not on board. You should either trsansform your relationship or consider leaving it.